How to Create Sexual Disparity and Why It Matters for Attraction

How to Create Sexual Disparity  and Why It Matters for Attraction

disparity /dĭ-spăr′ĭ-tē/


  1. The condition or fact of being unequal, as in age, rank, or degree; difference. 
  2. Unlikeness; incongruity. 
  3. Inequality; difference in age, rank, condition, or excellence; dissimilitude; -- followed by between, in, of, as to, etc. "disparity in, or of, years; a disparity as to color."
  4. The state of being unequal; difference. 

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition • More at Wordnik

What is Sexual Disparity?

Disparity between sexual partners, or potential sexual partners, might just be the most important ingredient for attraction that exists. It has physically and conceptually affected men and women since the beginning of time. And despite our best efforts as humans to level our differences, it will always remain.

In short, those who understand this dynamic stand to gain from it. Those who ignore it, do so to their own disadvantage.

Men and women are different. That’s obvious. But modern dating and social narratives are doing their damndest to convince us otherwise. Therein lies the problem with most men seeking a partner.

As our social environment evolves, the push for kowtowing to women as equal beings is growing.

Now, before anyone jumps to the conclusion that this is a “He-man-women-haters-club,” I’ve always preached balance in masculinity and femininity — teaching men to be dominant, not domineering.

Yes, women’s rights are important. I never advocate for women to be disparaged or dishonored. That’s not what this is about. Rather, it’s all about sexual chemistry and sustained attraction.

In all honesty, women would do well to understand this dynamic themselves.

We live in an age where the simple act of opening the door for a woman is labeled sexist, albeit “benevolently” sexist. Yet, studies show that women still prefer this kind of action from men.

Call it old-school chivalry, if you will.

It’s an undeniable display of disparity between men and women, a man opening the door for her, yet it is still preferred by women. Let that sink in, boys.

Taking this a step further, it’s no longer taboo that many women, yes even those stalwart feminists, love a good submissive, degrading sex session.

Now, why might that be?

Glad you asked.

As I’ve said many times before, it is a woman’s natural disposition to be “against a man.” It has been that way from the beginning, it’s written into her DNA, and always will be.

No, it’s not that she naturally wants to submit, though she will enjoy it when it happens. Her nature is simply to be “against the man.”

Think of it like an invisible tension. Men who don’t understand this are prone to cower in the face of her opposition. Yet, all of this works together beautifully between a man and a woman when a man understands and accepts his masculine disposition, his role in this play.

Her submission can only be satisfied if she creates the polarity in the first place.

Like we discuss in Rizz Rule # , everything a woman does is a test, whether she realizes it or not. She was built from her toes to her head to test you. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you’ll grasp that even her contrarian nature is a proof of your own masculinity.

Succeed in how you react, and you will maintain the balance of disparity between the two of you. Fail, and you’ll likely end up getting left for a man who understands or exudes this principle.

Let’s uncover a few of the most common ways that men lose this disparity. The more you see yourself in these two examples, the more you ought to think about making positive changes in your life — changes toward masculinity. Chances are most of you can relate. But don’t worry, it’s all part of the process of realizing your mistakes and becoming a man.

Idolizing someone you’re interested in is a sure-fire way to end up in the sea of admirers she already has. This might have worked better in the 1950s when attention was much harder to come by for women and the world was a lot smaller.

Today, it’s totally different. Yet guys still do it. Even celebrities. Men with very high net worth. Surprisingly, some of the most powerful men in the world do this.

Sure, women want to be adored the same way they did back then, but they get that adoration in droves on social media, dating apps, and anywhere else they go. As such, adoration has become a cheap commodity.

Remember, women want a man they feel inequality with. It’s why they test you in the first place.

Idolization typically foreshadows deference. If you’re constantly yielding to her, treating her like a queen, she’ll eventually see you as nothing more than a pawn in her kingdom. She gets no satisfaction out of submission to a pawn. You’re expendable.

If your modus operandi is to gush over women, fawn over their social media posts, or put them on a pedestal, you’re a simpleton.

Sure, you might get lucky one out of a thousand times with a woman who’s never experienced a man drooling over her. But chances are, even that one will eventually get tired of it. And it’s almost certain she’ll be fantasizing about other men who are much harder to get than you, even when she’s lying next to you.

  1. Neediness
    Neediness is your fast-pass to the friend zone at best. More likely than that, you’ll get ghosted. She’ll forget you faster than a dog with a bone.

    Look, I know loneliness is real. Single guys and single girls have a hard time with it. But, unfortunately, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy for a lot of guys wanting a girlfriend. You’re trying hard to attract a partner, but your needy and desperate actions put you in a never ending cycle of wishing and wanting, but never attaining.

    It’s counterintuitive, but you’ve got to get your neediness under control before you can expect to land a baddie. 100% under control. It’s got to be so out of the way that you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t need anyone! Whining and wallowing in it won’t get you anywhere.

    What to do about it? Start with our 50 Rules of Rizz and start taking building the domain and mindset you need to succeed with women.

    The root of this is internal, for obvious reasons. It’s not considered a healthy attachment style to be needy and you may have some work do with a trusted counselor or mentor. Focus on cleaning the inside first, then you can polish off the external factors like communication and appearance.

If this post resonates with you, be sure to check out some of our related material:

Let’s hear your thoughts on what works and what doesn’t when creating and maintaining sexual disparity with women.