Was Jesus a Simp? Three Eye-Opening Truths about His Style

Was Jesus a Simp? Three Eye-Opening Truths about His Style
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Have a look at the picture above.

Classic art has undeniably influenced our perception of the man Jesus. Who knows who started that trend? Perhaps it was Leonardi Da Vinci's "The Last Supper," one of the most famous depictions of Christ.

Da Vinci was known for painting effeminate men.

Since then, we've seen Christ looking like a long-haired, soft-spoken, limp-handed, white hippie in just about every depiction you can imagine. You see it in movies. You even see it in churches. Evidently, someone wants Jesus to look like Keanu Reeves and talk like Joel Osteen.

I’m not concerned with either of these men or their masculinity.

What is concerning is the level of misunderstanding we have of Jesus's masculinity – a proper view of which would go a long way toward clearing up a lot of confusion. Perhaps, it could even serve as motivation.

Was he effeminate? Was he soft-spoken?

Was he direct or did he beat around the bush? Was he a comedian? A people-pleaser?

There are answers to these questions — cues we can take from Jesus's documented behavior. The bible says that we will know the truth. Even if it is hidden in plain sight.

As full-time men it’s our job to emulate the perfect man. On that note, let's unpack some of these.

Was Jesus a Nice Guy?

No, he wasn't. Not all the time. There is a huge difference between Christ being kind and Christ being nice. I would argue that Christ's actions were often kind and merciful, but any other man would have been compared to a jerk in some of these situations.

Example #1: The Canaanite woman

[Mat 15:21-28 KJV] 21 Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, [thou] Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.

23 But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. 24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 25 Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me.

26 But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast [it] to dogs. 27 And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table. 28 Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great [is] thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

Think about what he just did here.

The Jews disdained a lot of cultural groups, especially Canaanites. Jesus played the same part. This poor Canaanite woman came begging, but He refused her and called her an epithet. A dog. To her face.

Before that, he dismissed and ignored her.

You might excuse his behavior because he was perfect, or because we don't fully understand his purpose in this scene. Or maybe you reason that he wasn't being mean, he was simply testing her.

Ok, sure.

But that ignores her perception and the disciples' perception, and our perception of what happened. Keep in mind that it is HIM we are encouraged to follow as Christians.

Never did he say, "Oh, I was just joking about calling you a dog. I wanted to see how strong your faith was. I was teasing you, sister. I'm sorry if that hurt your feelings."

Never. Did. He. Apologize.

Example #2: The Epileptic

Or how about this example of when Jesus got annoyed that his disciples couldn't heal the epileptic?

[Mat 17:15-17 NKJV] 15 "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water. 16 "So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him." 17 Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me."

Can you imagine walking up to a minister in today's churches with an epileptic child only to find that minister annoyed? Imagine hearing this during an emergency like that:

"How much longer do I have to be here?"

"You're unbearable."

"I'll do it. Bring him here."

Again, Jesus never made concessions. Never. Did. He. Apologize.

Yes, he healed the child, just as he did with the Canaanite woman. There is no question he was merciful.

But he wasn't nice about it.

Men should take note of this. The Jesus we are spoonfed isn't the Jesus that walked the earth. It certainly isn't how he is portrayed in the gospels. He wasn't feminine. He wasn't a nice guy.

He tested people constantly with his words and actions.

As Christ is our head, and we are the head of the woman, we should be just like Him (1 Cor 11:3). What can we take away from this?

Learn to test your woman to gauge her faithfulness to you. How willing is she to serve you? This can be applied to the initial contact, to the dating, to the marriage, or anywhere in between.

Vet your woman properly to know if she is serving your purpose.

Was Christ a Comedian?

When I was a kid, I thought if I could just make people laugh I'd have friends. I wasn't that cool, or at least I didn't feel cool. So I became the class clown. I acted out, did outlandish things, and disrespected teachers, cunningly.

I had the best grades in school. Came from a wealthy family. But I just didn't feel liked well enough. And the more I tried, the more I got rejection. Sure, occasionally I'd get the 90s equivalent of "likes."

But they were shortlived.

When you read the scripture, especially the gospels' account of Christ, there's a clear void of humor. Sure, you can imagine Jesus had a sense of humor if you want. Perhaps he'd crack a funny joke and make the disciples laugh off-camera from time to time.

But it wasn't documented.

On the contrary, we see his sorrows. We see his tireless work ethic. He was an austere man with serious ambitions to save the world and accomplish his purpose, his mission.

Why don't we see a lighter side of Christ?

He wanted to teach us that respect matters more than likes. For that reason, he set the example that he wasn't a joker. He wasn't a motley fool. He was a king. It is unbecoming of a king to act like a fool.

Kings are powerful. This is the leverage Jesus knew he had. He had all the power in the world at his fingertips, yet he controlled it, using it for good. Performing petty comedic rituals to gain favor, laughs, or attention was the last thing he needed.

Did Christ Beat Around the Bush?

Absolutely not. There are times when he appears to “evade” the Pharisees' gotcha questions, yet even those answers have purpose and wisdom. He never beat around the bush. He never hedged his thoughts or opinions.

A godly man is direct with his words.

A full-time man knows what he wants to say because he is firm in who he is, what his beliefs are, and how to express them. He knows that opinions are not always popular, especially in the politically correct world we live in.

Yet, he isn't afraid to stand for what he believes. Even if it means losing his life.

A man's reputation is all he has. A good name is better to be chosen than great riches.

When a man hedges his conversation or opinions, he is afraid and insecure. A man who softens his words is afraid of what others may think of him. He's a timid man.

Christ never hedged his words. He spoke with authority.

[Mar 1:22 NKJV] 22 And they were astonished at His teaching, for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

Many men don't realize the weakness in their speech. I have struggled with this, myself. Using softeners, disclaimers, and hedges muddles your authority. Here are some common examples of phrases to avoid sounding weak:

  • "To be honest..."
  • "I was just wondering..."
  • "Just a thought, but..."
  • "I think..."
  • "I guess..."
  • "Kind of..."
  • "You'll be there tonight, won't you?"
  • "I'm sorry to bother you, but..."
  • "I don't know if this is important, but..."
  • "Maybe you could..."

Review Best Practices

The thing to remember here is that we often fall into habits of thinking and doing that don’t align with our ideal self. One of the most important rules in the 50 Rules of Rizz is being committed to the process of betterment through consistent change.

Part of that process is self-awareness and reflecting on our habits, along with keeping a mental mirror. That mirror is a way to analyze ourselves from a distance, detaching from the schemas we constantly live in.


For your homework, start a list of the things you catch yourself saying. Record yourself in a conversation.

When you play it back, how does it make you feel? Does it sound direct? Manly?

Let us know in the comments below.