A Daiquiri, A Sunset Walk, and A Future Wife?

A Daiquiri, A Sunset Walk, and A Future Wife?

Dating has its ups and downs. Sometimes the market is slow, sometimes it’s hot. The past few weeks have been hot. It's a lot like the waves of the ocean, which is where I was last night while hammering out a review of a recent date while sitting at a beach bar with my laptop.

It was a beautiful sunset, but I had a few things distracting me while blogging:

  1. Another woman messaging me whom I had spoken to on the phone last night for the first time.
  2. A really tasty daiquiri made with toasted coconut rum served up in a coupe glass.
  3. She wasn't really a distraction, but I did meet another woman at the bar after I finished the blog and took her for a walk on the beach.

The City Girl

That's what I've been calling her ever since we matched three nights ago. She called herself this on her profile, so it stuck. Her fault.

I got a weird feeling when I saw her profile. Just looking at a few of her photos, I thought, "I could marry her."

Of course, I made fun of her instead, letting her know she was being extra – posting all those close-ups with the sunlight bouncing off her blue eyes. She knew darn well what she was doing. And she admitted it.... The audacity.

As I'm wont to do, I asked her to skip the small talk and jump on call with me so that she could ask me all her important questions, and I could dodge them as best I could and try to make her laugh.

She liked the idea, so we set a date for Monday night.

We talked Monday night, and it was pleasant. She’d just left a women’s bible study, and I was on my way home from another date. The conversation went well, very bible-centered. We laughed about a few things we thought were commonly mistaken in the scripture, discussed some health topics, and had a generally effortless conversation.

Then, we both started to get tired. As it turns out, she likes to go to bed early, too. So we ended it on a high note, she said she would contact me later in the week to let me know her next availability, and I went to bed.

I know. Nothing to write home about.

The Follow Up

When a woman says she will get back to me, I take her at her word, and I don’t ask twice. It’s one of my Rizz Rules. She’ll either want to speak again, or she won’t. And I don’t have time to waste on women who don’t want to speak to me.

It’s nothing personal. Everyone has their preference and desires. If I’m not it, then let’s both move along and find the one we like.

On the same token, I want to see if she is good on her word. When women say they’ll do something like reschedule a date, show up at a certain time, etc., it shows a lot about their character and how attracted they are to you if they follow through.

Pro Tip: If a woman is attracted to you, she will go out of her way to make herself available to you. There is no need to chase, persuade, entertain, or charm her. It will happen effortlessly.

City Girl got back to me.

Last night out at the beach, she sent me a series of text messages. They were lengthy. And though I’m reluctant to text (I prefer to call) I gave her my time and genuine responses.

It was a fun conversation, we shared some memories and some photos, and I ended the conversation on a high note thanking her for keeping me company while watching the sunset. She wished me sweet dreams, and I drove home and went to bed.

A Test

There was a moment in our messaging I wanted to share, as I believe it was a test. Sure, the whole conversation was a test, to see how well I communicate and how organic our communication feels to her. (She admitted the night before a recently “failed match” that didn’t go well due to a lack of “flow” in the communication. He was also needy and begging her to give him a chance. Take note, fellas.)

She said, “I can’t remember if I asked if you have a boat and go out often?”

Boats are expensive these days. A man who owns one either has one of two things: a lot of debt, or a lot of disposable income.

I took a few sips of my daiquiri and thought it over for a moment. Here is how I responded:

There are a few things I wanted her to know in my response:

  1. I’m honest and unafraid to tell the truth.
  2. I shared a little history of why I love boats.
  3. I let her know that I have goals and am working towards them.
  4. I redirected the focus to her and her upcoming trip to the beach that she had just mentioned.

The rest of the conversation went well. She shared some really cute photos of her local lake beach. I’m hoping things continue because she has a lot of potential. She loves children, works as a nanny, has a beautiful smile and demeanor, and wants to be a crunchy mom, which is a huge turn-on.

The Beach Walk

After I closed down the iPad and paid my tab, I moved around the bar to the far side of it near the beach. The sun had about 5-10 minutes left before it sank below the horizon, and I love to watch it.

There was a girl sitting solo near that corner of the bar. I’d seen her earlier and passed by her. In fact, I made deliberate contact with her by pulling the chair out between her and the sunset, only to realize I’d be blocking her view, apologizing, and moving a few chairs down.

She didn’t seem to mind, and I was more intent on watching the sunset.

Then after it dropped, I packed up, pushed my chair in, turned around, and there she was looking at me. So, I thought what the hey.

Free Resource: If you're looking for help with initiating contact with women, read this post.

The Approach

I don’t like to make a big deal of speaking to strange women. I don’t need pickup lines or “game.” I just ask for an opportunity to spend time alone with them. And this time was no different.

I walked around the corner column separating her from me and asked if she was there alone. She said yes. I asked if she wanted to go for a walk on the beach. She said yes, but she needed to pay her tab.

I told her to finish up and pay the tab and that I would run to the restroom and be back in a few minutes.

That was all that was said. But I did get a facetious stink-eye from Bree the bartender. She’s seen this happen a time or two. Come on, Bree. It's harmless.

The Walk

After visiting the restroom, I walked out to the edge of the dining area where it meets the sand. She paid her tab and headed toward me wearing some fancy strap-in pumps. I held her little purse and sunglasses while she unlatched them, and then we headed out.

To be honest, there wasn’t anything special about the conversation, and I won’t bore you with it. It was the typical getting-to-know-you kind of stuff, like where are you from, what do you do. She laughed at few little comments. I asked questions with new information she offered.

Occasionally we’d stop and soak in the sunset.

We reached the pier and walked to the end to bother the fisherman about what they’d caught. While there, she asked why I asked her for a walk. I told her that she looked at me earlier like she needed some company. So I asked. She seemed pleased with that.

We then headed back.

I learned that she was a CNA at a nursing home and recently divorced with a 12-year-old daughter. She lived about 45 minutes away. She admitted that her ex-husband wanted full custody of her daughter and that she was considering it – she never really wanted children.

She was decent company, she was attractive, but I didn’t want more than a walk-and-talk with her. By the time we returned to the restaurant, I let her know exactly that while giving her a satisfying hug, lingering with my right hand touching the back of her arm to reassure her, and thanking her for her time.

She thanked me for the walk, said it was really nice, and followed me out to the parking lot where she asked me to take her number anyway. I obliged and wished her a safe trip home.

It doesn’t take much. Women just want a connection. A conversation. An ear to bend, or a hug. Just be genuine, calm, and present.

Not every woman is worth pursuing.